STOP Being So Selfless
(Your Quality Of Life Depends On It)
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Jack Kornfield
Stop being so selfless! It is diminishing your quality of life, and will eventually impact on the people you are trying to help.
I originally published this blog about 4 years ago. It was social media post which I also posted to my website. I stumbled across it yesterday and thought the subject is still relevant so I've padded it out a little. I hope that you get some value from it.
Why do so many of us find it so hard to take care of ourselves? Why do we get guilty when we take time to improve ourselves?
Instead, we choose to race the kids around to fifty different activities, do favours for everybody, start work early and leave late, volunteer here, help out there and then claim I'm just too busy to exercise and eat well.
We do this and justify it, saying that one day when the kids grow up, I'll find the time and believe that this is a selfless act.
Before I continue, let me qualify what I've just said by saying those are acts of selflessness. Sacrificing your time to race the kids around does make you a good mum or dad. Staying back at work does make you an excellent employee.
I have two questions for you though:
What's the cost of this selflessness? And who is paying for it?
Selfless or Selfish? Look At Your Life Through A Different Lens
Let me flip that switch for you though and ask you to look at this selfless behaviour through a different lens.
What are we teaching our children if we show them that we don't have time to take care of ourselves?
Could it be that we are telling them that they shouldn't put themselves first either when it comes to physical and mental health?
Are we selfless to our loved ones by neglecting our heath? Or are we lining ourselves up to be a burden when chronic pain or disease arrives?
If we say yes to absolutely everything, how on earth can we focus on what really matters? We cannot, we just become a slave to everyone else's plans.
How Do We Change Selfless to Self Love?
That's a good question, and the answer will be different for all of us. But it starts with a decision to start putting yourself first. Figure out what that looks like for you and work backwards from there.
If you want to attend the gym three times per week, what has to happen to make that possible?
Then talk to your family, employer and let them know that you want to make health and fitness a priority in your life again. I can almost guarantee they will help you make it happen.
The trouble is that we tend to suffer along in silence and while we do that people let us. Not because they mean us harm, just because they're busy as well and while you're doing the lions share they're dealing with their own dramas.
So if you want to make a change, don't do it alone. Recruit the help of the ones you're working so selflessly to make happy. You will find they will do the same for you.
"The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. "Now I say, I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me." - Jim Rohn
For a limited time, Renew Fitness is offering 50% of all Fitness Kickstart Packages.
The greatest gift you can give yourself and your loved ones is your own self-care. Don't neglect it, carve time out for yourself and protect it. People will soon grow to respect this about you, and you will become a role model for all those in your circle.
If you're ready to reclaim some time for yourself we have an excellent deal running for the month of March. Details are below.
It's time to take charge of your health and fitness.
All Fitness Kickstart packs include the following.
✅Private PT Session(s): Choose from one, two or three 1-hour PT sessions. ✅1-Month Trial: Unlimited access to all semi-private, .small group training. ✅Initial Assessment and Strategy Session. ✅Original Strength Movement Screen (OSSA). ✅Nutrition Guide.
You can leave your details below using the code kickstart50 in the comments.